Happy Birthday Clepson!

Excuse the grainy photo, it was taken on Terry's phone! Clepson had a "traditional American" birthday party at Chuckie Cheese. Clepson enjoyed the video games, cake, pizza and giant mouse (really a rat according to Zoe). Terry enjoyed the party more than the kids! It was a fun time and a great way to spend a hot Thursday afternoon. We were able to keep a "soccer" theme to the presents and Clepson was thrilled with his new soccer ball and clothes which will be entirely appropriate for his life at Love a Child. Sarah did get Clepson a cheap CD player and made a couple Christian Rock CD's for Clepson and a Micheal Jackson CD which he has desperately been wanting;)

According to Noah, Clepson thinks I am very strict.

I find this somewhat humorous as I am known as the total pushover parent of my family. I have been working really hard this summer to instill a sense of "we work hard for what we have" in both my own children and Clepson. Both Terry and I work very hard to provide for our family (which I believe is true for most U.S. families). I am dedicated to my clients (horse and house). Noah and Zoe are old enough to take on larger responsibility for chores around the house. Clepson is helping right along side them. Hopefully the biggest gift we have given Clepson is the realization that the U.S. is a wonderful place where you can achieve great things if you work REALLY hard! I hope he will return to Haiti with the determination to work hard and achieve great things. Clepson is a very bright and kind boy that has been given an incredible opportunity by the Love a Child organization to be a person of great influence in his own country.

Sins of Omission

When people choose inaction when right demands action I think it is the worst kind of sin. When people in power and authority turn their backs on doing what is right it really makes me angry. When people in law enforcement deny ability to act when the law is clear that someone is causing harm and deserves punishment I become LIVID.

Do I care why someone is breaking the law and harming others..... not so much. Especially when those being harmed have no voice of their own. Especially when those being harmed are small children. Do I care that the one harming them has had a hard life.... not so much. There are many people who have hard upbringings, who have bad starts in life, who have had nothing and have been abused. Not all of them act out by harming others. Not all of them feel no remorse and claim that the horrid acts they have committed are fine. When the abused become the abuser the cycle must be broken.

Some people I know are struggling with what is right. They have appealed to their church, their law enforcement and social services.... They have been denied help. They need to push and shove and demand and advocate. The stand they take may not make them more popular, or be easy, but it may save two children who need their help. It may even help the abuser though I have no faith in our system's ability to rehabilitate sexual offenders.

Our justice system has systematically and historically valued the lives of our children LESS THAN that of an adult. The penalties for crimes against children are shorter and less severe. YOU WOULD THINK that those that harm those with no defense would be punished the greatest....

Thank You All...

I want to give a huge thanks to those of you who answered my plea for more understanding of the "church" issue with Clepson. I now have a better understanding of his viewpoint and it makes my job as his host mom much easier. I just didn't quite know what the appropriate response or course of action would be and now my path is much more clear!

Bragging a Bit about....

For those of you who have known me a long time... You know that I was formerly sister #2 of sisters3designs.... I was the one who made the outrageously cute (pat my own back here) embellished outfits that sold for fairly ridiculous amounts on ebay. It was a sad day when my own daughter refused to wear her painstakingly and lovingly sewn birthday girl overalls to her own second birthday party and opted to wear a store bought dress and feather boa. So, when we decided on Tuesday that Zoe should attend her first show riding western I dusted off the old sewing machine and whipped up this ensemble. Yes, the shirt was originally a stretch tee for me and the sleeves are old leggings, but I am pretty happy with the results!

Zoe and Cynder-Ella (sometimes known as the "Stinky Pony") rocked the blinged out look and took first place. Zoe also participated in the bizarre "showmanship" class where (as Zoe put it) you do the catwalk with your pony.... I think a bit more practice is in order and then I am sure the pair will be bringing home the blue ribbons in that class too.

The best part was not Zoe's excitement over her ribbon, it was her gracious attitude when she didn't get a ribbon at all in her second class. I am proud when my children achieve something, but more proud when they show grace in defeat. Too many times I see parents who teach their children to be sore losers. There is much struggle and defeat in life and a child who is afraid to try because they might lose, or who gives up because they have lost will wander a long, sad road in this lifetime. From my years teaching kid's riding lessons I think that losing a class gives you a more important lesson than winning one.

Zoe was a bit unsure of what her number was while she was in the second class. She milled about a bit with her pony before coming out the gate. She asked me what her number was and what place she had gotten in the class. I replied "dead last" with a smile and she shrugged and hugged her pony and said "I still love Cynder the best, and at least she didn't pee"! (two of the placing horses had chosen to take the opportunity to urinate while the judge was writing down the results) We both laughed! That was a BIG proud moment for me.

The Post in Which I try to Make my thoughts MORE clear!

to say that our church is "liberal" is a bit of a mis-statement. The church we attend is actually a scripture based non-denominational Christian church. It is a church where they often use secular methods to make the scripture accessible to the average person.... In this manner, I find their methods to be "liberal". I had hoped in my last post to bring comments on how to reconcile teaching a child you host to accept that others worship differently and to be polite and not put themselves in a position of "judging" how someone chooses to worship. I have issue with not crossing the line on how Clepson's "Haitian" parents are raising him to worship and what he has been taught to believe and the things that I hold true which are a deference to my elders (especially in my children, rudeness is not permitted, I was raised wearing white gloves to church and being silent in front of adults unless spoken to!) and an appreciation that differences are to be embraced. I would hope even in Haiti that it would be important to accept that there are many methods of worship. I know of missionaries from many denominations. LDS, Catholic, Assembly of God and other denominations are all working to make a difference in the lives of the Haitian people. Dispelling hate, superstition and prejudice seems to be a valid lesson to impart to Clepson, but I don't want to overstep my boundaries as his "temporary" mom. I no longer consider myself to be a Catholic, but after 12 years of Catholic education I can assure you that there is no idol worship (don't even get me started)! To allow or to promote such a belief in anyone I meet goes against the grain for me. I don't wish to impose our families personal beliefs on Clepson, but manners and general acceptance that there are many ways to chose to worship seem to be basic fundamentals that would serve him well in his future.... Any thoughts would be appreciated!

"There is No God Here"

"Our weekend services are a casual environment featuring a mix of modern music, dramatic presentations, multimedia, and a speaker with a message that’s relevant and applicable"

We have been attending a very liberal and modern non-denominational church here in Bellingham. Being raised Catholic ("Catholic is not Christian, they worship statues") I find the service a bit liberal, but the message is good and the music is fine and the fellowship is very nice. Knowing that Clepson has been living in an orphanage that is run by Christians who consider their mission to be largely non-denominational, I hoped that Clepson wouldn't feel our chosen church was too far from what he was used to. Clepson has missed the daily worship that occurs at the Love a Child orphanage. He has missed the fellowship of the other children and his "parents" Sherry and Bob.

Clepson's first few visits to our church seemed to go well. He surprised me by talking to my nephew when the pastor was giving his sermon, but I attributed that to being excited and 12 years old (not saying that he didn't get a "flick" to the head along with the nephew for being inattentive!) I thought things were going well.

Last weekend I made a trip to Kansas for a good friends' engagement party. Terry was in charge of getting the kids to church and gave them the option of going to the kids "sunday school" or attending the service. Clepson scoffed at the kids program (heavy on activities and fairly light on scripture) and chose to go to the service with Terry and Noah. I am not clear on what passage of scripture the service focused, but they gave communion by passing out Krispy Kreme donuts.... OK.... This IS A BIT MUCH... but I am sure it was relevant to the message..... In some way.... Clepson burst out with "There is no God HERE" This is not worship.... and on it went... I wish I had been there to remind Clepson that it is for God to judge, not Clepson. The american in me wants to influence Clepson and make him understand that all folks don't worship like he does in Haiti, that makes their prayers no less valuable to God! I broke down and had a long talk with him today... I explained that different was not bad and was not for him to judge.... I don't want to rock the boat for him, but I don't want him judging others unfairly, I hope to return him to Haiti with an appreciation that different is not necessarily evil.

Consider....

Consider a world where when a country decrees your internationally adopted child is your child that your own country would easily recognise that. Consider a world where this little boy was not waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting for three endless years in a substandard orphanage to join his adoptive family. Consider signing the following petition......



http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/face-act-of-2009.html

Snow in Summer

Terry had a chance to take Clepson and the kids up to Mt. Baker to see the snow. They spent time sledding and trying to walk on the hardened, icy snow. This is just one of the reasons that I think we live in paradise! Snow in the summer! Clepson was pretty impressed to say the least. The last photo is showing the progress in healing on Clepson's eye. The orbital implant is still protruding a bit and fairly swollen. He is able to open the eye pretty fully now and the new and improved conformer stays in most of the time. Clepson is not very self conscious about his eye, but he is a bit worried about the new hairdo!

When Words Can Hurt...

reprinted from ourhaitianjourney.blogspot.com


Bean is still talking about IT.
The boy who was mean to her.
She tells the story over and over:
"And then the boy said I CAN'T WALK!"
She puts on her meanest face and shakes her head
from side to side when she says:
"Then the boy said- I can't walk!"
She talks about IT six or seven times a day.
We have tried to listen to her and tell her
that the boy wasn't being nice.
That the boy was stupid.
That the boy didn't know anything.
She said: "He needs to tell me sorry."
Each time she brings it up- my heart breaks.
Over and over.
Its terrible to know her innocent HUGE heart
so well and to see it hurt so much.
She is such a gentle soul and has the kindest heart.
Yesterday when the OT was here she said IT again.
"Ray- the boy said I can't walk!"
He had already heard the story and I don't
think he knew exactly what to say.
Lulu kindly replied to Angeline:
"Beanie- Mommy wants you to stop saying that."
Ugh.
I did say that I wanted her to stop saying IT.
But not quite in that way.
Angeline then replied:
"He hurt my feelings Lulu."
She started sobbing.
and large tears fell
She just wanted to hear
over and over again
all the love of
all the people who know
that she CAN walk.
I held her tight on the couch and told her
that she could talk about IT as much as
she wanted to. But that we know that the truth
is that she CAN walk.
Please pray for her little heart.
It still so fragile and hurting so badly.
And if you happen to see my Bean-
please tell her...
"You can walk!"

Hair Cuts for the boys

Last week I had reached my limit. My nephew David is a lovely boy. For some reason he had decided to let his hair grow long. I have no issues with boys with long hair if they wash it and keep it tidy! David seems to have super thick and fairly oily hair. Those of you with little boys know that the head sweat capability in a boy is far greater than that of the female counterpart. Badgering, promises of nicely styled "cool" haircuts were to no avail.

Enter Clepson

Upon meeting David, Clepson began a very subtle (ok, not quite that subtle) campaign to get him to cut his hair. Clepson loves hanging out with David. David is a year older than Clepson and very popular. Clepson began with acting like he thought David was a girl.... He was being asked what he thought of the girls he had met... He said they were ok, but that David was a very cute girl (HAH!) The teasing kept up for a few weeks until David relented and agreed to come over for haircut night at Aunt Nina's. Granted, a real stylist could have done MUCH better, but here are the results. Noah got his hair cut too, and as usual doesn't like it. Clepson wanted a "flat top" and ended up looking just like the Fresh Prince of BelAir! I guess I need more experience with black hair!

We Meet the Man with The Eyes!

Today was a very exciting day for Clepson. We finally got to meet the man who will be making his new eye! We had the long drive down to Kirkland and met Todd Cranmore and the staff at Erikson Labs Northwest. What warm and wonderful people. The work they do is AMAZING! Todd talked with Clepson and then pulled the old conformer out of Clepson's eye and opened a drawer filled with custom conformers and pulled one out that fit perfectly! The custom conformer fits much more securely around the implant and Clepson even learned how to put it in himself. YIPPEE! One happy host mom who wont have to tape a boys' eye shut! Clepson was thrilled and got to hold and examine a prosthetic eye that was waiting to be fitted. It was completely realistic.

The best part of the visit was finding out that Todd actually has gone on mission to Haiti and a group of eye professionals, including an oculist, go to Haiti every year and will be able to see Clepson yearly to keep his eye prosthesis comfortable as he grows. Clepson will still need a new prosthesis eventually, but this is a huge relief to know that the eye will be checked yearly and adjusted.

Clepson was happy to have a conformer in that will stay secure while he rides bikes and plays soccer. He is even allowed to go swimming with it in. Clepson will wear sport goggles while outside playing for now, as I am not wanting to make the trek back to Kirkland to have the conformer replaced if it pops out outside. The sport goggles look very cool and Noah is very envious! Clepson will get to take them home to protect his eyes when he is doing sports in Haiti. It will be important to protect his sighted eye as well as the prosthesis.

Holiday Dreams!

This year for the 4th we tried something different. The Gold Cup Soccer is in Seattle this year. Haiti was playing Honduras and the US was playing Granada on the 4th of July. It seemed like an IDEAL Dad day for the kids. Sarah's crew and Terry, Clepson and Noah loaded up in the "CHURCH BUS" as I call the Reese family van and off to Seattle they went. The soccer game was a big hit and the Haitian team came over and met the kids and Clepson got to speak with them! He was really embarrassed at first and then had a blast!

Yesterday brought a visit from Shar Brasheers of Love a Child. Clepson was so excited and it was great to meet Shar and her husband and daughter. They brought a wonderful ScrapBook and supplies for Clepson to document his time here. Noah and Clepson got right to work on the scrapbook and Clepson was SO excited to see someone he knew.

Tomorrow is our trip to the ocularist. I am excited and hopeful that Clepson will get a conformer that will stay in his eye without tape! I will take photos and update tomorrow.

Can we Camp in the Yard?

We have settled on taping Clepson's eye shut to keep the conformer in for now. His lower eyelid is s bit swollen still and refuses to do it's job keeping the conformer in place. Fabric medical tape and a band aid patch keep it in for a bit of time. Clepson has had some headaches for the last day or so, but so have I, so I think it is more of a summer virus then an eye thing.

I spent most of yesterday working, spending time with my Mom (who is visiting from a far-away state) and left Noah, Clepson and two of Sarah's boys with Danny, Sarah's 20 year old son in charge. Danny will be moving into our house tomorrow to get ready for returning to school full time. It will actually be a huge help to us to have another "adult" in the house this summer to help with the kids while they are out of school. Hopefully Danny can save some money and be ready to concentrate on his studies when school starts.

Noah decided that it would be fun to "camp in the yard" last night. He set up our tent and hauled blankets, sleeping bags and pillows out. This is a big tradition with my kids and Terry. They love to set up the tent and camp at home. Me, not so much! All the boys wanted to sleep in the tent initially. Clepson and Dom decided first that beds would be a better bet for sleeping and came inside. I went to bed at 10:00 with two boys still out in the tent. The remaining boys were on the couch this morning and Noah said his cousin woke up screaming and pulled the tent down!

Terry and my brother managed to summit Mt. Baker yesterday and will be on their way home today! I need a big break from work and kids and life, It would be nice to be ALONE for a few minutes and have time to relax without worrying that I am letting someone or something down with work or home.