Hard Answers to EASY Questions

It is so normal for people to make assumptions in making judgments on important issues. Take for instance, Horse Slaughter.....Sounds BAD. We love horses. They are noble beasts. True, they are livestock, a bit like CATTLE, but they evoke an emotion in most people that is more akin to the family dog. For without horses our path to civilization would be far different. So we vote and petition to make slaughter of horses in the U.S. illegal.... And then, we offer no alternatives. So the horses that can no longer be cared for, the horses that people can't afford to feed. The "bad" ones have no home. We euthenize cats and dogs at our local humane society. But, what do they do with the horses. The local horses that are being turned loose in empty fields and left with no food, no shelter, no water at times. These horses become a public charge. OR they slowly die,

yes,

That is SO much more humane. Breeders keep breeding. At the high end they produce better sport horses that excel in many disciplines. On the low end, they produce horses that don't even sell for the minimum bid of $5 at the local auction house. Sales of even nice young horses are slow to nonexistant. It costs about $5000 per year to house and feed a young horse. And that is if nothing goes wrong. Veterinary bills mount quickly. So your bargain youngster is a big investment and must be chosen carefully. Some great breeder friends of mine have wonderful babies for sale. The prices are a BARGAIN and they are willing to house the horses at a minimal rate until they are ready to ride. If you are looking for a future star, drop me an email or comment and I will happily send you their way!

Mercy

What does MERCY mean to you. It reminds me of wrestling as a kid and feeling the pain and suffocation of my cousins and siblings bearing down on my chest.... we would cry MERCY! The rush of air and coolness after the struggle, that is MERCY to me.

Mercy is also the name of a little girl. A small girl with a ragged smile. Her teeth are broken from falling. She falls because she has seizures. There are NO NEUROSURGEONS in her ENTIRE country. She needs help....sigh....she needs relief, she needs MERCY. This little girls condition is getting worse.

My good friend Kim is holding a raffle for an Ipod Touch to raise funds for Mercy's travel to the U.S. for lifesaving surgery. Please visit their website http://berriesnhoney.blogspot.com/2009/10/mighty-to-save.html.

So, if you have wanted an Ipod Touch, are touched by Mercy's story or just feel generous, please go make a donation. I know I will! This little girl has a long stuggle ahead of her and a long journey from Uganda to make to find her own version of MERCY.

They Could Use a little HELP people!

Our local Northwest Therapeutic riding center has a great fundraiser Nov. 7. The event is called Denim and Diamonds and features a great banquet and live and silent auction. They are accepting any donations for the auction and reservations for the banquet. You can check out their website at www.NWTRC.org You can win a pony.... I know a great trainer.....

2009 DENIM TO DIAMONDS AUCTION DINNER

Chincoteague pony for the NWTRC

On Saturday, November 7, the NorthWest Therapeutic Riding Center is sponsoring the 6th annual "Denim to Diamonds" dinner/auction at the Elks Lodge, 710 Samish Way. Doors open at 5:30 PM. Audra Schroeder of the Cascade Radio Group will be the MC for the evening. Pamela Cady is the auction chair.

"We are really excited to have Arawn, a 4 year old Chincoteague pony, to bid on at this year’s fundraiser," said Julia Bozzo, executive director of the NorthWest Therapeutic Riding Program. We are accepting qualified written bids prior to our dinner/auction fundraiser on November 7th as well as during that evening. Reserve bid begins at $2,500.00. Arawn may be previewed (by appointment) at the breeding farm, Canrydd Stables, www.canryddstables.com. For bid information or to preview pony, contact Julia at nwtrc@premier1.net, or call 360-966-2124.

ARAWN is a 2005 black-bay gelding. He has an exceptionally nice temperament and is a fantastic mover. He is handled daily, has been backed, lounges very well and goes nicely over poles. Arawn should mature at 14.2, and has potential to develop into a wonderful performer at any discipline. He’ll make a gentle, quiet companion and willing partner for a child or adult.

Breed: Purebred Chincoteague Pony
Registration: Can be registered with the NCPA
Height: 14.1 hands
Foaled: 4/6/05
Color: Black bay with star and small snip on muzzle
Health: Excellent; all shots and worming current
Training: 5 months professional training
Prospect: Suggesting hunter/jumper

Tickets for the November 7 event are $50.
Please contact Julia Bozzo,
1884 Kelly Rd., Bellingham, WA 98226
360-966-2124
nwtrc@premier1.net.

The Horse Othewise Know as 4....?

If you look at my boy Diego you will notice that he has a big 4 on his right shoulder.....it has been there since birth. I guess it is some sort of birthmark. As he becomes WHITER by the day, the 4 stands out more clearly. It dawned on me today that maybe he is like "the artist formerly known as Prince" and would like to be known as 4.....What do you think? Is it a SIGN?

When we Need Help...

http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/ I have a secret pass-time... I read blogs that I find inspirational. Blogs that make me feel small. Blogs that make me wonder what the purpose of my life is. Blogs that make me want to slow down, look at my children's faces. Enjoy the moments.

Have you ever had a moment so perfect that you stopped. You stopped and thought...REMEMBER ...the feel of the sun, the wind, the smell, the look of your loved one's expression.....I want more of these moments in my life. I wish I was a mom who took more pictures. Who carried my camera and captured those moments in more than my ever fading memory.

I every mom would reach out to others and ask for the help they need. Where did we all decide that we are failures if we ask for a hand. I have BEEN there. We ALL have been there. It is not failure to reach out and take help that has been offered. It is a cultural WIERDNESS that Mom's want to do it all themselves. We often need help, we seldom ask for it. ASK ME IF YOU NEED A HAND, I will be happy to help and I will then feel open to Ask you to help me.......

I Never Wanted to Be That Girl....

That girl who didn't have her act together. That girl who struggled. That girl who didn't make this world a better place.

When we dream of what we will be when we grow up it all seems so easy. It seems like we just have to follow a straight path from A to B and the world will bend to our will. It hasn't really happened that way for me!

I grew up as the "smart one". I was the middle sister. Smack between the Sporty one and the Pretty one. Our family also included the number one, and often-times prodigal son. We were all raised to believe we could have it all.

I wanted to be a doctor. DEFINITELY not a lawyer or God Forbid a REALTOR or HORSE TRAINER (that is definitely a hobby, not a profession). I wanted 12 kids (the Pretty one ended up with all the kids;) I wasn't sure I needed a husband. My father had failed in the husband area, so I couldn't at that time see what value a husband brought to a family (I have since learned and LOVE having a lifepartner).

I definitely wanted to go to an Ivy League School. Better yet, one of the Seven Sisters. I apply myself in high school. I graduate 3rd in my class. I interview, I SAT and I get into my school of choice. I also fill out an application to Purdue.....It was free.....and get a scholarship....My parents tell me I am going to Purdue.... Where the HECK is Purdue? INDIANA????? NO WAY..... Off to cornfields and cows I go....

Somewhere along the way I fall in love. I get married before graduation and move to KANSAS...


You get the picture... My life has not been a straight path from A to B. The road has many bends and turns. It is a good life....

What is REALiTY?

I have four fabulous horses to ride every day right now. One of them is MINE MINE MINE. I am one lucky lady. I also have two wonderful children who are brilliant. I think they have GOOD GENES! LOL! I have frustrations. Many Frustrations. They are of my own making.

Sometimes I do not know what to say. I hate to admit when I feel things that are less than wonderful. I have no room to complain. Yet, I find things to natter on about on and on and on.

I wish I could DANCE or SING or had a TALENT.....

I envy the MORMANS.... In an odd sort of way....their sense of community. The way they pull together in joy and suffering...HMMMM

Check Out This Link

In a typical Democratic or even REPUBLICAN manner, our country, the great old USA is having a DEBATE about health care. If 87% of the people want something, you would think that the debate would be short lived. After all, isn't our government based on the idea of MAJORITY RULE? It is somewhat confusing. I mean, I wasn't a Political Science major in college, I am just a lawyer which in no way qualifies me to actually interpret LAW, but, seriously, this seems pretty easy.....

http://pol.moveon.org/insurance_execs/?rc=fb.6

But then, I guess we are a country for the gullible, the EASILY DUPED, a country that reads the National Enquirer and BELIEVES. We are a country based on freedom of religion, as long as you are the RIGHT kind a' Christian...... "Mighty White" of us! After all, Christ wouldn't have wanted to protect the vulerable, serve the less fortunate, or make sure that all people are entitled to health care.....

Clepson is In the HOUSE, Finally....

After much planning, preparation and anxiety (on the part of the adults mainly!) Clepson departed for home . His trip home was orchestrated by MAT with help from us and the Airline Ambassadors (super organization!)

We ended up driving Clepson to Seattle to meet his first of three volunteer airline chaperones. Clepson was dressed in his very best clothing and looked surprisingly "Haitian" in a dress shirt, vest and suit coat.

Clepson was excited to be leaving but had been anxious since getting his eye. I like to think he will miss us and not just "Hannah Montana"! Clepson seemed to withdraw from us over the last few weeks of his visit. It was like he had accomplished his goal in getting well and having such a super transformation with his prosthetic eye. He asked daily about how many more days until he would go home and started watching more "Love a Child" programming on the Internet.

It is my hope that he is truly glad to be back at Love a Child and has grown in a positive way from his stay in the U.S. I know that he is a physically healthier boy, but I hope he is emotionally and spiritually well too.

While we will miss Clepson's joyful laugh and spirit, it was not a very hard thing to let him return to Love a Child. Our family knew that Clepson would return home. Clepson has a wonderful home in Haiti. It has been MUCH harder for me to see some of the babies return to Haiti that live in squalid conditions without the resources that Love a Child provides to Clepson.

I believe in the power of education and think that Haiti's problems will one day be solved by Haitian children that have been gifted with education and world knowledge. I hope that Clepson has taken from his visit that with hard work and determination anything is possible and that we can't rely on charity and handouts to get by in life. I think a "hand up" is so much more valuable than a "hand out". When Love a Child educates and nurtures it's orphans it gives them the ability to work to change their country. My belief that this is so important made it easy for me to "let go" of Clepson and encourage his return to his own country.

Plans

We have been busy and buzzing with plans around here. Getting Noah and Zoe ready for school, getting Clepson ready to return to Love A Child in Haiti...It has been a bit crazy around the household. It seems like Clepson has been with our family forever. He has been eagerly waiting to return home and the wait seemed to drag on and on and Now time is FLYING by and we will be lucky to get haircuts and school shoes and small gifts packed for the other children at Love a Child.

Clepson has been distracted and a bit sad for the last few days. I know he is frightened to possibly spend the night in PAP when he arrives in Haiti. He is frightened to fly also. Tonight we are going Ice Skating with the cousins and he will get to spend some time with them tomorrow too.

First Day of School 2009

Today Noah and Zoe went back to school. This summer has been very chaotic and from the first day of vacation I thought I wouldn't be able to make it until they returned to school. Trying to juggle another child in the house with medical needs and working two jobs with summer fun isn't for the weak at heart! The experience of hosting a medical needs child has shown my entire family things they did not know about themselves. Since Zoe was born, Noah has felt that he would be much happier sharing his parents and home with a brother instead of a little sister. He learned this summer that he just isn't into sharing;) That brothers can be just as annoying as sisters. Zoe has become much more self sufficient. She has learned that having two brothers makes twice the fun and twice the teasing. She would like to never hear the words "Zoe be quiet" again. I have learned that maybe I am a strict parent. Maybe my expectations are high and that my children are really good people.

In July, our adult nephew and godchild (Danny) moved in with us too. We have had a full house and are so glad that Danny has found not one job but two and is working and saving to go back to school. Danny has been a lifesaver this summer in helping with childcare and making the adults schedules a little more flexible.

CAKE BOSS

There are very few television shows that Noah, Zoe and Clepson all like to watch that I can bear to watch (PLEASE NO SPONGEBOB!) A few weeks ago we all sat for hours watching a Cake Boss marathon. The kids were amazed at the creations and amused by the "Cake Boss's" yelling and flamboyant attitude in the kitchen. We decided to make our own "Cake Boss" creation. The kids drew pictures and we discussed and ultimately had to put off making the cake because the fondant, modelling chocolate etc... were a bit involved and we needed ample prep time to pull off the cake successfully. We also needed a group of folks willing to eat our creation... So, Clepson's "going home" party was the perfect time to create. We settled on a Haitian flag (made by Clepson, with help from Nina), an American flag (by Noah, on the other side of the cake), a pizza (by Nina) and a hand (originally waving goodby, then just taking the pizza, by Zoe). It all came together pretty well and was DELICIOUS! The cake was white chocolate cake with almond white chocolate frosting, marshmallow fondant and white modelling chocolate. If you would like any of the very, very, VERY messy recipes, just shoot me an email or comment and I will get them to you.

Clepson is very excited to be going home at the end of the week. He is desperate to see all of his friends at the orphange and Sherry, Bobby and Carole (the directors and nurse at Love a Child). He is a very confident boy who will hopefully be just as respectful as he was when he came to stay with us!

Health Insurance Debate?

Diego has health insurance..... Major medical ($250 deductable) and mortality insurance run me about $400 a YEAR. I am glad that I can afford to insure him because I don't want to face large medical bills that I can ill afford. I have personally had YEARS that I was without medical insurance. I did not get medical help when it was prudent to. We could not afford it. Do I think it is basic human right for people to have access to health care without facing poverty? YES. Do I think people in our rich country that I pay HUGE amounts of taxes should die because of lack of access to health care. NO. I wish people would open their eyes and see that we are already paying more in health care per capita in this nation than most industrialized countries do. We are also one of the ONLY countries that does not have some form of national health plan. Does this make them all SOCIALIST countries....NO....Does this make them less effective at health care than the US.... absolutely not. IN FACT, we have less satisfaction with our health care, higher costs and the highest infant mortality rate of all industrialized nations....WOW, we should be so proud! I have personally bought veterinary medicine that is THE SAME as the human medicine because the cost was one tenth of the cost for the human prescription....MANY things need to change here, pharmaceutical companies and HMO's are running our health industry. Fear of liability causes most of the doctors to make decisions that are unreasonable. Not only do we need a national health care plan, but we need to limit malpractice and crack down on the drug companies.... IN FACT, I think the government should insure doctors and other health care providers for malpractice......that should stir things up!

Looking Fabulous and Feeling Fine!

Clepson has been waiting, and waiting and waiting for this day to come. Today he got to spend the day with Todd Cranmore, a wonderful and generous Oculist who made Clepson his wonderful prosthetic eye. For a boy who has never looked like other children, this is a HUGE day.... For a boy who has been shunned because his eye appeared different this is an INCONCEIVABLE wonder. To look in the mirror and see a normal eye! Clepson can't wait to get home and show his friends at Love a Child his new look. I think he looks older and more outgoing than when he arrived. I think everyone will be SHOCKED!

Happy Birthday Clepson!

Excuse the grainy photo, it was taken on Terry's phone! Clepson had a "traditional American" birthday party at Chuckie Cheese. Clepson enjoyed the video games, cake, pizza and giant mouse (really a rat according to Zoe). Terry enjoyed the party more than the kids! It was a fun time and a great way to spend a hot Thursday afternoon. We were able to keep a "soccer" theme to the presents and Clepson was thrilled with his new soccer ball and clothes which will be entirely appropriate for his life at Love a Child. Sarah did get Clepson a cheap CD player and made a couple Christian Rock CD's for Clepson and a Micheal Jackson CD which he has desperately been wanting;)

According to Noah, Clepson thinks I am very strict.

I find this somewhat humorous as I am known as the total pushover parent of my family. I have been working really hard this summer to instill a sense of "we work hard for what we have" in both my own children and Clepson. Both Terry and I work very hard to provide for our family (which I believe is true for most U.S. families). I am dedicated to my clients (horse and house). Noah and Zoe are old enough to take on larger responsibility for chores around the house. Clepson is helping right along side them. Hopefully the biggest gift we have given Clepson is the realization that the U.S. is a wonderful place where you can achieve great things if you work REALLY hard! I hope he will return to Haiti with the determination to work hard and achieve great things. Clepson is a very bright and kind boy that has been given an incredible opportunity by the Love a Child organization to be a person of great influence in his own country.

Sins of Omission

When people choose inaction when right demands action I think it is the worst kind of sin. When people in power and authority turn their backs on doing what is right it really makes me angry. When people in law enforcement deny ability to act when the law is clear that someone is causing harm and deserves punishment I become LIVID.

Do I care why someone is breaking the law and harming others..... not so much. Especially when those being harmed have no voice of their own. Especially when those being harmed are small children. Do I care that the one harming them has had a hard life.... not so much. There are many people who have hard upbringings, who have bad starts in life, who have had nothing and have been abused. Not all of them act out by harming others. Not all of them feel no remorse and claim that the horrid acts they have committed are fine. When the abused become the abuser the cycle must be broken.

Some people I know are struggling with what is right. They have appealed to their church, their law enforcement and social services.... They have been denied help. They need to push and shove and demand and advocate. The stand they take may not make them more popular, or be easy, but it may save two children who need their help. It may even help the abuser though I have no faith in our system's ability to rehabilitate sexual offenders.

Our justice system has systematically and historically valued the lives of our children LESS THAN that of an adult. The penalties for crimes against children are shorter and less severe. YOU WOULD THINK that those that harm those with no defense would be punished the greatest....

Thank You All...

I want to give a huge thanks to those of you who answered my plea for more understanding of the "church" issue with Clepson. I now have a better understanding of his viewpoint and it makes my job as his host mom much easier. I just didn't quite know what the appropriate response or course of action would be and now my path is much more clear!

Bragging a Bit about....

For those of you who have known me a long time... You know that I was formerly sister #2 of sisters3designs.... I was the one who made the outrageously cute (pat my own back here) embellished outfits that sold for fairly ridiculous amounts on ebay. It was a sad day when my own daughter refused to wear her painstakingly and lovingly sewn birthday girl overalls to her own second birthday party and opted to wear a store bought dress and feather boa. So, when we decided on Tuesday that Zoe should attend her first show riding western I dusted off the old sewing machine and whipped up this ensemble. Yes, the shirt was originally a stretch tee for me and the sleeves are old leggings, but I am pretty happy with the results!

Zoe and Cynder-Ella (sometimes known as the "Stinky Pony") rocked the blinged out look and took first place. Zoe also participated in the bizarre "showmanship" class where (as Zoe put it) you do the catwalk with your pony.... I think a bit more practice is in order and then I am sure the pair will be bringing home the blue ribbons in that class too.

The best part was not Zoe's excitement over her ribbon, it was her gracious attitude when she didn't get a ribbon at all in her second class. I am proud when my children achieve something, but more proud when they show grace in defeat. Too many times I see parents who teach their children to be sore losers. There is much struggle and defeat in life and a child who is afraid to try because they might lose, or who gives up because they have lost will wander a long, sad road in this lifetime. From my years teaching kid's riding lessons I think that losing a class gives you a more important lesson than winning one.

Zoe was a bit unsure of what her number was while she was in the second class. She milled about a bit with her pony before coming out the gate. She asked me what her number was and what place she had gotten in the class. I replied "dead last" with a smile and she shrugged and hugged her pony and said "I still love Cynder the best, and at least she didn't pee"! (two of the placing horses had chosen to take the opportunity to urinate while the judge was writing down the results) We both laughed! That was a BIG proud moment for me.

The Post in Which I try to Make my thoughts MORE clear!

to say that our church is "liberal" is a bit of a mis-statement. The church we attend is actually a scripture based non-denominational Christian church. It is a church where they often use secular methods to make the scripture accessible to the average person.... In this manner, I find their methods to be "liberal". I had hoped in my last post to bring comments on how to reconcile teaching a child you host to accept that others worship differently and to be polite and not put themselves in a position of "judging" how someone chooses to worship. I have issue with not crossing the line on how Clepson's "Haitian" parents are raising him to worship and what he has been taught to believe and the things that I hold true which are a deference to my elders (especially in my children, rudeness is not permitted, I was raised wearing white gloves to church and being silent in front of adults unless spoken to!) and an appreciation that differences are to be embraced. I would hope even in Haiti that it would be important to accept that there are many methods of worship. I know of missionaries from many denominations. LDS, Catholic, Assembly of God and other denominations are all working to make a difference in the lives of the Haitian people. Dispelling hate, superstition and prejudice seems to be a valid lesson to impart to Clepson, but I don't want to overstep my boundaries as his "temporary" mom. I no longer consider myself to be a Catholic, but after 12 years of Catholic education I can assure you that there is no idol worship (don't even get me started)! To allow or to promote such a belief in anyone I meet goes against the grain for me. I don't wish to impose our families personal beliefs on Clepson, but manners and general acceptance that there are many ways to chose to worship seem to be basic fundamentals that would serve him well in his future.... Any thoughts would be appreciated!

"There is No God Here"

"Our weekend services are a casual environment featuring a mix of modern music, dramatic presentations, multimedia, and a speaker with a message that’s relevant and applicable"

We have been attending a very liberal and modern non-denominational church here in Bellingham. Being raised Catholic ("Catholic is not Christian, they worship statues") I find the service a bit liberal, but the message is good and the music is fine and the fellowship is very nice. Knowing that Clepson has been living in an orphanage that is run by Christians who consider their mission to be largely non-denominational, I hoped that Clepson wouldn't feel our chosen church was too far from what he was used to. Clepson has missed the daily worship that occurs at the Love a Child orphanage. He has missed the fellowship of the other children and his "parents" Sherry and Bob.

Clepson's first few visits to our church seemed to go well. He surprised me by talking to my nephew when the pastor was giving his sermon, but I attributed that to being excited and 12 years old (not saying that he didn't get a "flick" to the head along with the nephew for being inattentive!) I thought things were going well.

Last weekend I made a trip to Kansas for a good friends' engagement party. Terry was in charge of getting the kids to church and gave them the option of going to the kids "sunday school" or attending the service. Clepson scoffed at the kids program (heavy on activities and fairly light on scripture) and chose to go to the service with Terry and Noah. I am not clear on what passage of scripture the service focused, but they gave communion by passing out Krispy Kreme donuts.... OK.... This IS A BIT MUCH... but I am sure it was relevant to the message..... In some way.... Clepson burst out with "There is no God HERE" This is not worship.... and on it went... I wish I had been there to remind Clepson that it is for God to judge, not Clepson. The american in me wants to influence Clepson and make him understand that all folks don't worship like he does in Haiti, that makes their prayers no less valuable to God! I broke down and had a long talk with him today... I explained that different was not bad and was not for him to judge.... I don't want to rock the boat for him, but I don't want him judging others unfairly, I hope to return him to Haiti with an appreciation that different is not necessarily evil.

Consider....

Consider a world where when a country decrees your internationally adopted child is your child that your own country would easily recognise that. Consider a world where this little boy was not waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting for three endless years in a substandard orphanage to join his adoptive family. Consider signing the following petition......



http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/face-act-of-2009.html

Snow in Summer

Terry had a chance to take Clepson and the kids up to Mt. Baker to see the snow. They spent time sledding and trying to walk on the hardened, icy snow. This is just one of the reasons that I think we live in paradise! Snow in the summer! Clepson was pretty impressed to say the least. The last photo is showing the progress in healing on Clepson's eye. The orbital implant is still protruding a bit and fairly swollen. He is able to open the eye pretty fully now and the new and improved conformer stays in most of the time. Clepson is not very self conscious about his eye, but he is a bit worried about the new hairdo!

When Words Can Hurt...

reprinted from ourhaitianjourney.blogspot.com


Bean is still talking about IT.
The boy who was mean to her.
She tells the story over and over:
"And then the boy said I CAN'T WALK!"
She puts on her meanest face and shakes her head
from side to side when she says:
"Then the boy said- I can't walk!"
She talks about IT six or seven times a day.
We have tried to listen to her and tell her
that the boy wasn't being nice.
That the boy was stupid.
That the boy didn't know anything.
She said: "He needs to tell me sorry."
Each time she brings it up- my heart breaks.
Over and over.
Its terrible to know her innocent HUGE heart
so well and to see it hurt so much.
She is such a gentle soul and has the kindest heart.
Yesterday when the OT was here she said IT again.
"Ray- the boy said I can't walk!"
He had already heard the story and I don't
think he knew exactly what to say.
Lulu kindly replied to Angeline:
"Beanie- Mommy wants you to stop saying that."
Ugh.
I did say that I wanted her to stop saying IT.
But not quite in that way.
Angeline then replied:
"He hurt my feelings Lulu."
She started sobbing.
and large tears fell
She just wanted to hear
over and over again
all the love of
all the people who know
that she CAN walk.
I held her tight on the couch and told her
that she could talk about IT as much as
she wanted to. But that we know that the truth
is that she CAN walk.
Please pray for her little heart.
It still so fragile and hurting so badly.
And if you happen to see my Bean-
please tell her...
"You can walk!"

Hair Cuts for the boys

Last week I had reached my limit. My nephew David is a lovely boy. For some reason he had decided to let his hair grow long. I have no issues with boys with long hair if they wash it and keep it tidy! David seems to have super thick and fairly oily hair. Those of you with little boys know that the head sweat capability in a boy is far greater than that of the female counterpart. Badgering, promises of nicely styled "cool" haircuts were to no avail.

Enter Clepson

Upon meeting David, Clepson began a very subtle (ok, not quite that subtle) campaign to get him to cut his hair. Clepson loves hanging out with David. David is a year older than Clepson and very popular. Clepson began with acting like he thought David was a girl.... He was being asked what he thought of the girls he had met... He said they were ok, but that David was a very cute girl (HAH!) The teasing kept up for a few weeks until David relented and agreed to come over for haircut night at Aunt Nina's. Granted, a real stylist could have done MUCH better, but here are the results. Noah got his hair cut too, and as usual doesn't like it. Clepson wanted a "flat top" and ended up looking just like the Fresh Prince of BelAir! I guess I need more experience with black hair!

We Meet the Man with The Eyes!

Today was a very exciting day for Clepson. We finally got to meet the man who will be making his new eye! We had the long drive down to Kirkland and met Todd Cranmore and the staff at Erikson Labs Northwest. What warm and wonderful people. The work they do is AMAZING! Todd talked with Clepson and then pulled the old conformer out of Clepson's eye and opened a drawer filled with custom conformers and pulled one out that fit perfectly! The custom conformer fits much more securely around the implant and Clepson even learned how to put it in himself. YIPPEE! One happy host mom who wont have to tape a boys' eye shut! Clepson was thrilled and got to hold and examine a prosthetic eye that was waiting to be fitted. It was completely realistic.

The best part of the visit was finding out that Todd actually has gone on mission to Haiti and a group of eye professionals, including an oculist, go to Haiti every year and will be able to see Clepson yearly to keep his eye prosthesis comfortable as he grows. Clepson will still need a new prosthesis eventually, but this is a huge relief to know that the eye will be checked yearly and adjusted.

Clepson was happy to have a conformer in that will stay secure while he rides bikes and plays soccer. He is even allowed to go swimming with it in. Clepson will wear sport goggles while outside playing for now, as I am not wanting to make the trek back to Kirkland to have the conformer replaced if it pops out outside. The sport goggles look very cool and Noah is very envious! Clepson will get to take them home to protect his eyes when he is doing sports in Haiti. It will be important to protect his sighted eye as well as the prosthesis.

Holiday Dreams!

This year for the 4th we tried something different. The Gold Cup Soccer is in Seattle this year. Haiti was playing Honduras and the US was playing Granada on the 4th of July. It seemed like an IDEAL Dad day for the kids. Sarah's crew and Terry, Clepson and Noah loaded up in the "CHURCH BUS" as I call the Reese family van and off to Seattle they went. The soccer game was a big hit and the Haitian team came over and met the kids and Clepson got to speak with them! He was really embarrassed at first and then had a blast!

Yesterday brought a visit from Shar Brasheers of Love a Child. Clepson was so excited and it was great to meet Shar and her husband and daughter. They brought a wonderful ScrapBook and supplies for Clepson to document his time here. Noah and Clepson got right to work on the scrapbook and Clepson was SO excited to see someone he knew.

Tomorrow is our trip to the ocularist. I am excited and hopeful that Clepson will get a conformer that will stay in his eye without tape! I will take photos and update tomorrow.

Can we Camp in the Yard?

We have settled on taping Clepson's eye shut to keep the conformer in for now. His lower eyelid is s bit swollen still and refuses to do it's job keeping the conformer in place. Fabric medical tape and a band aid patch keep it in for a bit of time. Clepson has had some headaches for the last day or so, but so have I, so I think it is more of a summer virus then an eye thing.

I spent most of yesterday working, spending time with my Mom (who is visiting from a far-away state) and left Noah, Clepson and two of Sarah's boys with Danny, Sarah's 20 year old son in charge. Danny will be moving into our house tomorrow to get ready for returning to school full time. It will actually be a huge help to us to have another "adult" in the house this summer to help with the kids while they are out of school. Hopefully Danny can save some money and be ready to concentrate on his studies when school starts.

Noah decided that it would be fun to "camp in the yard" last night. He set up our tent and hauled blankets, sleeping bags and pillows out. This is a big tradition with my kids and Terry. They love to set up the tent and camp at home. Me, not so much! All the boys wanted to sleep in the tent initially. Clepson and Dom decided first that beds would be a better bet for sleeping and came inside. I went to bed at 10:00 with two boys still out in the tent. The remaining boys were on the couch this morning and Noah said his cousin woke up screaming and pulled the tent down!

Terry and my brother managed to summit Mt. Baker yesterday and will be on their way home today! I need a big break from work and kids and life, It would be nice to be ALONE for a few minutes and have time to relax without worrying that I am letting someone or something down with work or home.

Why Not a Local Kid?

I have had several comments on why I am not helping a local kid. Well, folks, the reality is that any person within the U.S. borders can walk into an emergency room and receive care. It is a byproduct of what we call the Hippocratic oath in this country. Regardless of some one's ability to pay, citizenship, color or religion, they are not denied medical care. Even though we are not a socialized country, we have a welfare system, social security and disability that pays for many of the essential needs of our citizens. It may not keep someone like a king, but it also doesn't pay so little that you are feeding your children patties of dirt and lard, which is common in Haiti (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/19/dirt-poor-haitians-eat-mu_n_168339.html). The little girl pictured above is 11 months old and weighs 8 lbs, 8 oz. My children were that weight about two weeks after birth. I would eagerly help any U.S. child with this degree of need. This little one was brought to a rescue center too late to be saved......

In Haiti, medical care is on a "pay only" basis. If you walk in a hospital you will receive care after you pay for it. You are also required to go to the stores that sell all of the supplies and blood you will need for the procedure and buy them yourself. You will then, maybe, be lucky enough to see an actual doctor, not someone who just says they are a doctor, cuts you open and leaves you to die. That is reality in many third world countries. The reality of Clepson's situation was that he lived with pain and continued infection in his eye from birth. He is now 12 years old. There was NO doctor in his country that could remove his eye and do the implant procedure. The technology simply does not exist. He lives in a society where many believe if he looks upon them he is cursing them because he looks different. He comes from a country where disabled children are starved or fed to the pigs because they are viewed as worthless. So, when you ask me why, the answer is because I cared enough.

The Pressures of Being Famous

http://www.bellinghamherald.com/255/story/966377.htm is the link to a great story in the Bellingham Herald about Clepson and the people who made his surgery possible. Journalist Kie Relyea did a super job! I love this photo that was on the front page of the Bellingham Herald. Clepson is not so impressed! He hates for everyone to see him so vulnerable and we won't even mention the muffin like hat he is stylin'! I tried to get a photo of Clepson holding the newspaper, but my camera batteries were dead. In fact, we have no batteries that are charged in the entire house. Clepson broke out in a big grin and said "alleluia!" See where the power of prayer can get you;) I am sure he will appreciate the photo and story one day, but this week has been very hard on Clepson emotionally.

We have spent the last two days struggling to keep the conformer in Clepson's eye. I finally resorted to doing some online searching and came across a wonderful website www.losteye.com and posted a plea on the discussion board for tips on keeping the conformer in. Most commonly the answer was "ask the surgeon to put a stitch in the eyelids to hold them together until the swelling goes down". One person suggested using some medical tape to tape his eyelid shut to hold it in. We have gone with the taped shut method with pretty good success.

Clepson had started to act very depressed. He was sitting, not talking and looking grim. I decided to take him off the big pain killers and go with Tylenol. I know some people get depressed on narcotics and his pain at this point mainly centers around his eye being irritated when we have to put the conformer back in.

We went to the long awaited movie theater trip today and Clepson loved it. He ate a Large bucket of popcorn which was a relief as he had eaten little for the past few days. Clepson has been missing home and asked if I could make some Haitian food. I am going to need some advice on recipes to make that happen!

Tomorrow Clepson has a visit with Dr. Mike again and wants to go to Sarah's house. I think he needs to feel more NORMAL and less isolated. Hopefully he can keep his activity to a minimum, but I am going to take him over for a short visit at least.

Finally we have Pizza and the Doctor does a Home Visit

Today started out fairly uneventfully. Upon waking, Clepson had some eye pain and we dosed him up on his pain medicine and I gave him a bag of frozen corn to hold over his eye. This helped a great deal and by noon he was able to open his eye much wider and was feeling pretty comfortable. I decided to try switching him off the big pain drugs and onto Tylenol during the day. At noon I gave him some Tylenol and left him watching a "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie fest! I was getting a migraine, so I went upstairs to take a nap and left him with instructions to have Zoe come get me if he needed anything.

A couple hours later (sheesh, that was a serious nap, but headache is gone!) Zoe came up to get me. She said, Clepson wants you..... I came down expecting him to need some food, water, something minor.... and he said "it is coming out".... Yikes, the conformer (plastic shield over his new "eye ball" was sliding out of the bottom of his eye. I washed my hands and put some antibiotic ointment on it and tried to slide it back in.... NO LUCK. I called Dr. Ford and he gave me additional instructions and said to call him back if I couldn't get it in. NO LUCK. So, back on the phone with Dr. Ford who actually left his office early to get a smaller conformer at the Surgery Center and came over to put it in for us!

Dr. Ford pushed a bit harder than I had and was able to get the new conformer in Clepson's eye. This was, of course, a bit painful. Not five minutes after Dr. Ford left he called to make sure that Clepson was ok and apologised for hurting him. He is the kindest man and seemed genuinely disturbed that he had made Clepson cry. All I could think was WOW! To not only donate his skills for the surgery, but to actively care about his patients feelings is so rare and wonderful.

Dr. Ford and his wife are friends of mine. They are very good people who have suffered great difficulties in their own lives recently. For him to take time and make sure that Clepson has the very best care possible is wonderful to me.

Type A+

I have decided that I am not type A, I am type A+. While Clepson was in surgery I spent my time editing old photos like this....

I suffer from an excess of capability... I think I am can do anything. So when you need custom appliqued baby clothes, gardening, horse training, remodeling or a special Telly Tubbies blanket, I am your gal. As a realtor, I just look at all the options for spending money on technology that are available and think..."I can do that".

My latest project has been making individual web pages for my listings. I wanted to include a video tour of the properties. NOT JUST A SCRAPBOOK, but an actual video of the property. So here you go:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-vFXgufzbA

My first video tour! I'll unveil my web page to you all and if you want to know how easy it is to do yourself, drop me an email and I'll share the info!

Lessons from the Hood by the Blonde Chick Zoe

Zoe has become a mentor to her little cousin Angeline. Angeline was one of the major inspirations behind the Medical Advocacy Team. She was our first Haitian Sensation and is simply fabulous. Angeline has spina bfida and has no movement from the knees down. She walks with a walker and does a wonderful job. She is so capable!

On Tuesday Sarah took the kids strawberry picking. When she pulled up at the strawberry farm there was a small boy playing in the dirt. He was throwing clouds of dirt in the air. His mother sat nearby holding a baby. Sarah ignored the boy (which shows unusual restraint on her part!) The little boy saw Angeline walking with her walker and went over to talk to her. Sarah didn't think much about it, since most kids have a curiosity for what they do not know. Angeline came over to Sarah upset.

She said "he says I can't walk! That boy says I can't walk!"

The mother just sat and said NOTHING.

Sarah told the boy, "She CAN walk, she just uses as walker".

The boy smarted back, "She CAN'T walk! She can't walk without her walker."

Still no reaction from the mother.

Sarah then said, " your mother wears glasses, does that mean she can't see?"

The mother sat and did NOTHING!

Angeline was upset all day. She may be three years old, but she totally got that her walker was a "bad" thing. She refused to use it and crawled around.

My Zoe stepped in and said, "Angeline, this is what you say to the mean boys....."

Hand held outstretched, palm up, head tilted, Zoe said, "Hey DUMB boy, don't talk to me!"

HAIR FLIP, HEAD TOSS, and a "HMPHH!"

Angeline LOVED it! She practiced the head toss, she practiced the hair flip (impressive even without the flowing blond locks) and even mastered a fairly good "hmphh".

Zoe spent an entire year at a new school where she felt continually bullied. We talked with her teacher, we talked with the principal, nothing was resolved. We gave the new school a good shot. We focused on how learning to get along with difficult people would get Zoe far in life in the future. We assured her that she would NOT have to return....I saw a lesson learned in action and was proud. My kids don't see differences, they see strengths. The have been raised with open eyes to all cultures, religions, races and differences in physical abilities. They do not turn and cringe or make fun of others. They are sensitive and strong. I have hope that they will not turn from the difficult situations in life, but will thrive.

P.S. Parents, PARENT your children... don't allow them to be rude, don't raise bigotry!

The Bandages are OFF

Clepson slept well last night and woke to some homemade biscuits. He spent all day resting on the couch watching videos with Noah and playing a driving video game. We went in to see Doctor Ford at 2:30 and Clepson was pretty scared by that point to see what his eye looked like. He was very stoic as Dr. Ford removed the bandage and poked and prodded at his sore eye. One big tear ran down his face and it just broke my heart to see him trying to show no fear or pain. Sherry (at Love a Child) says it is very important for Haitian culture that he not show fear or pain. It is hard to imagine that control on a boy so young. What has he seen, what has he endured prior to coming to the loving care at Love a Child?

Clepson struggled a bit this afternoon with not being able to feel if he was opening his eyelid. He felt much better after talking with Sherry and her convincing him that this was normal and would not stay like that. Hopefully he will begin to regain some of his humor and high spirits. No pizza tonight, not quite ready for that yet, but he did manage to down a HUGE vanilla ice cream cone form Dairy Queen.

Eye Implants

Eye implants have come a LOOONG way since the day of the "glass eye". When Clepson woke up from his surgery he thought he would have a brand new eye that looked just like his other eye. EVENTUALLY he will (with a bit of luck and much hard work on some great doctor's and oculists part!)

During his surgery yesterday, Clepson had his damaged and painful eye removed. The ligaments and muscles controlling the eye were then attached to an orbital implant. The orbital implant looks like this:

Clepson's own tissue covers the implant completely. His eye is very swollen at this point and he has a conformer covering the visible portion of his new "eyeball" so that there will be room to put the prosthetic eye piece in. The next step (after healing a bit) requires a trip down to a wonderful and talented oculist who has donated a custom eye for Clepson. Clepson will first be fitted with a custom conformer (which will be more comfortable than the one he has in now).

The oculist will then get busy making a prosthesis for Clepson that will match his "good" eye. The prosthetic eye should look like a real eye and will move with his muscles that are attached to the implant. Pretty darn cool, if you ask me! The link below is to the great oculists who are donating their talents to making Clepson's new eye.

http://www.ericksonlabs.com/artificial-eye-process.html

OUCH!

This is a photo of a sleepy Clepson putting his shoes on in preparation for leaving for the Surgery Center. I ended up letting Clepson sleep until about 8:00 this morning, so that he wouldn't have much time to think about what was coming and also wouldn't have time to get too hungry!

Clepson was quiet and brave on the ride to the Surgery Center. He was brave when the nurses took him back to change into a gown and get his IV. I was SO proud of him.

I told Clepson the story of a much younger Noah running from us down the halls of the hospital because he was afraid to have a blood test. Clepson found that very funny and it lightened his mood a bit. The staff and doctors at the Surgery Center were great. They treated Clepson like he was a prince and were very supportive and reassuring.

The reporter from the Bellingham Herald was the same reporter who did the super story about the Medical Advocacy Team last summer. The photographer clicked photos as Clepson was hauled into the surgery room.

Then the waiting began....... 75 minutes into the surgery, the coordinator came out. She was very quick to say that Clepson was doing well and that Dr. Ford wanted me to know it would be about another 1/2 hour.

As soon as Clepson was in recovery they came and got me. I sat with Clepson as he woke up and he was VERY frustrated about the bandages on his eye. He was desperate to see what his "new" eye looked like. The pressure bandage puts a good deal of pressure on the orbital implant which keeps it in and stops the bleeding. Dr. Ford and I convinced Clepson that it would be best to leave the bandage on and it will come off in our post op visit tomorrow.

Clepson had no nausea and ate his crackers and cola. He dozed on and off due to the large dose of pain medicine they gave him in his IV. After a couple hours they pulled the IV and let us leave. Clepson was desparate to see Noah and asked if we could go up to Sarah's house. I told him he would just be sitting on the couch and he was fine with that. I suspect he wanted the "guys" to see his dramatic bandages.

by the way Sherry, this sad look is for you! Clepson wants you to know how brave he is being!

We are home now and watching "So you think you can dance". Clepson has had a big dose of pain meds and is resting on the couch. Clepson gets to sleep on the couch tonight with pillows bolstering his head. The airplane pillow I have will stay behind his neck and help keep his head upright. This should lessen the amount of swelling he gets.

Clepson needs to spend the next two weeks at rest. We have waived all TV rules and he gets unlimited TV time, for which my children are eternally grateful!

Thank all of you for your well wishes and prayers. Clepson is relieved to have the worst of his trip behind him. I have promised pizza for dinner tomorrow night if his tummy stays well.

The Night Before Surgery

Tonight is Clepson's last sleep with his "old" eye. He is quite worried about his surgery, but trying to act like a little man. Clepson had a fun filled day over at my sister Sarah's house. Her house is loud, bright and often silly. Clepson spent hours playing in the pool, riding bikes and watching movies. We had cake and ice cream for Noah's birthday and Clepson was excited to watch Noah open his presents.

At one point Sarah showed Clepson her son Isaac's photo. Clepson told her how to say Isaac in Creole and asked why he was still in Haiti.... That is the million dollar question. Why is Isaac in Haiti almost 3 years after his adoption proceedings began. Why does his file sit in MOI while he languishes in an orphanage without the love of his waiting family. The longer he lives in the orphanage the greater his new family's work will be. Attachment issues, behavior issues, the list grows longer by the day and don't forget the health issues. A waiting baby died just weeks ago from Meningitis in Isaac's orphanage.

I joked with Clepson that Issac only got lambouie (spelling) three times a day at his orphange, not like Love a Child. Clepson had quite a bit to say about how proud he is of his home at Love a Child.

Sherry, this boy knows he has been chosen to be at Love a Child for a reason and sees the value of the work you do. Clepson appreciates the gift of education and health living at the Love a Child orphanage has given him.

Clepson went on to explain that many of the orphanages are fed with food from Feed My Starving Children that is distributed from Love a Child.

We ended the night at Sarah's with all of her children wishing Clepson well in his surgery and saying they would be praying for him, and they will be! With all the prayers floating around for Clepson tomorrow, I know he will do well in surgery.

Clepson is currently showering and will do so again in the morning prior to going to the surgery center. They asked this to help reduce his chances of getting an infection. MRSA is fairly common at most surgical centers and hospitals, so we will try to NOT develop a superbug!

Clepson will have another snack before bed as he is allowed nothing after midnight tonight. We are to arrive at the surgical center at 9:00 and Clepson will go into surgery at 10:00. There will be some consultations with the anesthesiologist and doctors. The surgery is 90 minutes or so and then we will have a bit of time in post op until Clepson feels good enough to walk. I am not sure if we will just come home or go to Sarah's to get Noah and Zoe. Terry will be in Seattle tomorrow working and Sarah has doctors appointments in Seattle with Bean and has to pick up our Mom and niece Libby at the airport. In all likelihood they will be back to Sarah's before we leave the hospital.

I will pass on any well wishes posted to Clepson directly!

Happy Birthday Baby Boy!

Eleven years ago my first baby was born. How quickly time passes. Noah has been a JOY to have as a son. He is kind, sensitive and brilliant. Noah has the best (and some of the worst!) attributes of both Terry and I. He definitely got the arguing gene from Grandpa Pat! We love you Noah and look forward to another great year being your parents!

Destiny and Gluttony

Tonight we went to church services at Cornwall Church. Cornwall is a VERY large non-denominational Christian church in our town. Saturday night service has a pretty good Christian Rock band and the Minister is pretty charismatic and captivating.

Noah and Clepson are too old to go to the "Sunday School" and attended the regular service with the adults. Noah and Clepson sat with the older Cousins and Clepson kept asking David questions throughout the service. I walked over and gave David a "flick" on the head (you mom's know what I mean!) so that they would be silent and listen to the sermon. Noah seemed pretty captivated. The service focused on the story of Esther. The sermon was relating the choices we make to living up to our Destiny. I asked Noah what he thought about the sermon when we got in the car. He said that he didn't think it really applied to a 10 year old. I said I didn't agree, that the decisions he makes now will affect his future and the path he takes. He thought for a while and then said "yeah, like when you go and cut up your baby pictures". I had forgotten that I told him the story of when, in a fit of anger I cut up the baby photos my mother had of me! I have lived to regret that decision.

The sermon hit a little closer to home for me. I felt when I was a child that I had a responsibility to do something that would leave a positive impact on the world. I studied hard and went to school for many years to become a lawyer. Along the way I lost sight of the dreams I had of improving our world. I made decisions out of fear of failing and focused on personal gain and security. Over the last few days I have been thinking about how I could make a change that might send me on a different path. This journey of personal discovery has been largely due to seeing my life and the lives around me though Clepson's eyes. I am so thankful for the opportunity to grow as a person. I don't yet have a fully formed plan, but I feel a push to move towards living a life that has a bit more meaning.

On a completely more humorous note, after church we decided to go to the big buffet restaurant. Sarah asked if I thought it might be a bit much for Clepson. I thought he would do fine. All of the preteen and teen boys in our big group ate plate after plate of food. Chicken, Fish, Pork, Beef and Shrimp.... Pizza, Rolls, Fries, Salad. Clepson ate FIVE FULL PLATES of food. Then he hit the dessert buffet. He came back with TWO vanilla ice cream cones. All I could think was "do I need to run into Target and buy a BUCKET in case he blows up in my new car?" I just kept saying "Clepson, you may have all you want to eat, but please don't make yourself SICK!" I must say Clepson (and Noah too!) got their $5.00 worth of food and MUCH MORE.

After dinner we walked around for about an hour before I would allow the kids in my car. We arrived home without any mishaps and are looking forward to making Terry breakfast in bed in the morning.